Hey guys. I have been trying to write this blog for so many days now, I have needed to write out and let go of all these emotions, but for whatever reason it hasn't happened yet.
Kyle and I need your prayers. We have been so emotionally wrecked lately. Kyle has taken time off work, I have needed help taking care of Joel. We have been a mess! I know; it's to be expected. Yet, it's almost been eight months, so it has kind of caught us off guard. I have been tearful for days now. Crying off and on because of a thought, or a song. And, as sad as I feel, I know that every tear shed brings me closer to finding peace about my situation. It is good to cry, even though it can hurt so badly. So, as many of you know, we are officially trying for our third baby. It’s been a few months now and I can easily start having “Why hasn’t it happened yet?” moments. But, I am trying to remember that God’s timing is perfect and that maybe I need more time to grieve (hmm, you think??!) So, during my weak moments, I find myself researching how long it takes to get pregnant again, etc, and have found so much data on how women are usually irregular after birth as nature’s way to naturally prevent a pregnancy too close to the last one. And, everytime I think “Well, that certainly didn’t prevent me from getting pregnant with Gabe!” (He was conceived just six months after I had my firstborn, Joel, the same month I stopped breastfeeding him.) Then, last week I heard about a couple who has two children and discovered they were pregnant with their third child just DAYS after the husband had a vasectomy preformed! They may have thought they were done, but God had other plans. And what I have been learning is that if GOD wants you to have a baby – He will GIVE you that baby! After I shared this with Kyle, he said, “That makes Gabe’s life so much more intentional. God wanted us to have him, knowing that we would lose him. He wanted us to have to make a choice, and grieve his death.” So powerful! So, even though I still feel so wounded by my grief, I know it’s all for a purpose. It’s all within His plan. April 29th will be the one year anniversary of the day we got Gabe’s fatal diagnosis. Please pray for us.
Karen
4/17/2010 12:54:10 pm
Praying for you daily...Gods' intentions are not like anything we could even think up or create...What a pleasure it is to know that God CHOOSE YOU for this intentional, purposeful story. Love you!
Anna
4/19/2010 02:52:24 am
Thank you for sharing Meghan, I am so thankful to have you an Kyle as an example of how to put all your faith in Christ and trust His perfect timing. Please know that you both will continue to be lifted up in my prayers daily. I love you.
Jenna
4/21/2010 06:06:47 am
I love this Meghan! Since my husband and I have tried for 4 1/2yrs to conceive, I know the "why hasn't it happened yet" and have to tell myself that my plan isn't necessarily God's plan...but I can say that because I know his is better, even if it has to hurt for awhile. I may never have my own babies, but that doesn't mean that I should stop asking or praying for one and that he doesn't have BIG plans for me even they aren't what I think they should be. Everything he does is intentional. Love it!
Heather Kaufman
4/25/2010 12:32:22 pm
Very nice blog, Meghan! I will continue to think for, and pray for your family. I suffered only a miscarriage, but I still experience that feeling of loss every March 3rd, the date we lost our little one. I was pregnant only 3 months after having my son and I was breastfeeding him at the time we conceived our angel. Your child will be given to you when God's plan is carried out, guaranteed! I had two friends (who experienced the loss of children) get pregnant in the same months their angels were due, so amazing things happen! I cannot wait to find out about your pregnancy when it happens. Congrats!!! Comments are closed.
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Author: Meghan
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