Just think of stepping on shore, and finding it heaven
Of touching a hand, and finding it God's
Of breathing new air, and finding it celestial
Of waking up in Glory, and finding it "Home".
This week my email inbox has been flooded with prayer requests. I feel like everyone I know, in every different friendship circle, is going through a difficult time right now. Some are calling it spiritual attack, others bad luck. But everyone is starting to notice the "trend" that we are all in need of prayer.
It has only made me feel more blessed, that right now in my life I am so happy, so thankful, so content, so very blessed. It makes me remember how alone my hurt felt, how I felt like everyone else around me had it so good, when we were going through everything with Gabe - his diagnosis, being pregnant, carrying to term, having him, losing him, missing him. I remembered how easily I felt hopeless and helpless and that nothing would ever be the same. Well, it's not the same, but it will get better.
Yesterday I felt overwhelmed by the amount of people I physically needed to prayer for, and I subconsciously tried avoiding it all afternoon. I was literally restless. I couldn't do anything. God was making it so obvious to me that I couldn't do another thing, not even a nap, until I stopped and lifted these requests to Him. I even thought to myself, there are so many at this point, God knows about them all, what's the point in telling him myself? And just like that I was immediately aware of the importance of always praying for my friends. Just like that I knew that not only would I want someone to pray for me when I needed it, but that the act of humbling myself before God and submitting my requests to him was going to improve my intimate relationship with God as much as it would help my friends feel more at peace.
So, to all my friends going through something really tough right now, I really feel like this is from God, not from me: Remember that this is a season. We all go through tough times and there is a choice in it for us to make - allow this circumstance to draw you closer to God, or become more distant and attempt this hard life on your own.
I hope that this blesses someone today...
I am literally sitting here with both tremendous disbelief and despair that my baby would have been two months old today. He would have been starting to smile... I have a lot of other thoughts, but will spare you all. Instead I will post some lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's "With Hope." He wrote the song after losing his own daughter in 2008:
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...
We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope