I have been having a few sad days recently. The kind of sad that you can't really pinpoint. But, it's there. I had a playdate yesterday with a new friend and she asked about Gabe. It was wonderful. And, as I talked about him, I didn't even come close to crying. This, I know, is a great thing - a sign of how much better I am doing. But, I couldn't help but to feel guilty the entire rest of the day, upset that talking about my son had not brought me to tears. This might not make sense to those of you who have not had a loss, but I know some of you will understand.
But, I was able to go to our Bible Study last night and be around my amazing God-loving girlfriends and my strength was restored. My faith and hope in God was ignited. My heart was comforted. I was listened to and understood. Friends are so amazing. Just this morning, another friend sent me a link about a Hillsong singer. I really wanted to share it with you all, because it explains how I feel about my relationship with God so much. The beginning is the interview and then it goes into the song. Below the clip you will see the lyrics to the song. I just want to thank my friends for being there for me. Thank you all for thinking about me, asking me how I'm doing, sending me encouragement, talking about my son, and for loving me unconditionally. You are teaching me so many lessons about how to treat others. Thank you. http://trulygodsgrace.wordpress.com/2009/09/29/hillsong-live-desert-song-with-lyrics-jill-mccloghry-interview/
Brittany
2/16/2010 05:49:07 am
Gabe's reach is far beyond what you could ever imagine. Please remember that.
Carrie
2/16/2010 06:24:24 am
I know that feeling of guilt. I get it a lot--- especially when I find myself laughing about something. This little voice in my head says "You shouldn't be laughing, your child is gone." I need to find a way to make that voice not ruin my good mood. You are an amazing mother.
Beth
2/16/2010 12:13:14 pm
As I read this entry, I picture little Gabe up in Heaven. I picture him smiling and laughing as he listens to his mommy talk about him to this new friend. He loves listening to his mommy talk and tell his story. I picture him being joyful that his mommy can now talk about him sometimes without tears. Comments are closed.
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Author: Meghan
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