Not Myself

Uh.  I've been feeling really crappy emotionally.  Dreading getting on here to talk about it, but I know that it will help.  Just wanted to say that I have not been feeling like myself.  This grief has made me feel like I don't have to pretend to be happy when I'm not.  I guess it's an aspect of being inside the anger stage, so I've gotta keep trying to get outta here!  Just yesterday I felt like I was outside my body when being introduced to a new person, and a few hours later when someone was giving me a compliment.  I know sometimes I don't have a filter, so I found myself just mumbling something, without smiling, without making eye contact.  Even while it's happening it doesn't feel like me.  All I can say is - yes, I recognize it.  And - yes, I'm trying to be better.