Can be found here: http://shiningthroughthesorrow.blogspot.com/
I am so sorry that I've had to up and change things, but Weebly has been giving me problems for awhile now, and it's been very discouraging to not have things published after I sit down and spend time gathering my thoughts.
I will not delete this website, because it has three years of information, memories, thoughts, and emotions recorded on it. I ask that you would continue to share this site with loved ones who experience a loss, because it is so comforting to find someone (even just through the internet world) who has been through the same thing.
And, I'd humbly ask that you would continue reading about my life after loss on this new website.
Thanks so much for your understanding!! -Meg
Enjoy these pictures of ZoZo, taken today at our house! All you need is a chocolate brown blanket as a backdrop, and a big brother to make your subject smile! I edited the pictures in Picasa...
Hard to believe my little love is nine months old today. Doesn't seem possible, especially when I feel like I just had her yesterday. She's growing into such a little girl, with an attitude to match.
As of Thursday, she's getting both center bottom teeth. She's enjoying new foods all the time. I make most of her food, which I love - it's such an act of love. She's eating toast, applesauce, yogurt, cereal, oatmeal, black beans, sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, and just starting drinking apple juice and (mostly) water from a sippy cup!
She's still not crawling yet (so you can stop asking), but she does get on all fours and rock and back and forth, well, when she feels like it. Haha. She just started "dancing," swaying back and forth when we've got worship music playing in the house. She's still a wonderful sleeper, usually takes three naps and sleeps 12-13 hours straight at night.
It took me awhile to capture it on film, but she's been saying this for months!! Check it out!!
Every now and then I need a break from the consuming world of Facebook. Not to sound all, whatever, but I have the "gift" of mercy and empathy comes easy to me. What this means is that I chose a Social Work degree and easily have a heart for those in need. Practically, this is amazing and allows me to put myself in other people's shoes without much effort. But, realistically what this means is that I have a tendency to put the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don't try to do it, it just happens. And this world can be really sucky at times, full of heartache, death and despair. That's why clinging to my faith can be so easy, because I need a safe retreat from the harsh realities of this side of Heaven...
Facebook can be an amazing tool for outreach, connection, prayer - but it can also consume me. I read that amazing article that was going around called "Your Children Want YOU!" It made me think about my daily priorities, and the order things had shifted. For me, Facebook can also be a foothold for Satan to pour his lies in my heart - comparing myself to others, thoughts of envy, forgetting how blessed I am...
So, because of these reasons, I'm just taking a little break. A time-out. A respite. A rest. My life runs well when I put my relationship with God first, my marriage second, my children third, the needs of others next, and my own needs last. I have this verse posted by our laptop, and I'm actually putting it into action: "Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your world," Psalms 119:37. And one final thought for your day:
There are so many little things in life that form a giant arrow to a neon sign, blinking "BLESSED." Last night was one of those moments. Both my babies are very sick. They got diagnosed with pneumonia on Tuesday, and although Joel sounds much better, poor Zoe sounds worse. They gave me steriods to give her, in addition to her antibiotic, and everytime we try to give it to her, she throws up everything in her stomach. Heart-wrenching.
Because of this, and the fact that my hubby is away, I've had to miss out on some pretty important events this weekend. Last night was a girl's night/surprise baby shower for a dear friend of mine. I was so sad to not be able to make it. About two hours after the party started, four of my friends (half of the party) showed up at my door with TWO plates of food - one savory, one sweet. (And, thank Jesus I got a warning text cause this Momma *may* have still been in her robe.)
They brougt the party to me!! They stayed awhile, sipped some wine, and got me caught up on the reaction of the surprised Momma and all the fun games they played. Blessed.
Now, tonight I'm missing the FIRST BIRTHDAY of the only other child (besides my own) that I've had the priviledge to be present for theirl labor/birth. I'm deeply saddened by this. Maybe they'll bring the farm-animaled theme party to me?? JK!! ;)
(BTW, this is a really old picture... but it's too cute NOT to include!!)
At the doctor's office yesterday, the physian's assistant says to Joel after seeing what a great big brother he is, "You must be such a good help to Mommy!"
Joel looks at me, beyond confused, "Mommy?!"
I said, "Yeah! That's ME! But you don't call me that, do you? What do you call me?"
"Mama Llama Sweet Petunia!!"
P.S. I'm going to try to add a photo with each blog entry, to make things more interesting. Scroll down and you'll see I've added photos to the last several entries...
The word alone - miracle - stirs up some anxiety in me. When we were pregnant with Gabriel, we knew his diagnosis was fatal, and yet we had lots of people saying they were praying for a miracle. I never prayed that prayer. That's a huge confession for me - and it's taken me 3 years to actually say it on here. But, the truth is, I knew of another Potter's Momma who was religiously (no pun intended) praying for a miracle for her baby, and it never happened. I guess I never wanted to set myself up for even more disappointment.
So, I would kinda cringe inside when people would tell me that they were praying for a miracle for my own baby. I understand why they did that. Lord knows, we were all hoping for the best. I guess I didn't feel like I had a right to ask for such a thing. I remember after Gabriel was born, alive, and passed away two short hours later - the news broke out via Facebook that our precious son had indeed left this earth. It had rained all morning long while I was in labor, and then that afternoon the entire Tri-State area witnessed a double rainbow in the sky. Unbelievers were texting me saying that it was such an "obvious sign" from God, that all would be okay. Makes me cry just thinking about it.
But the pastor (and friend) that did our funeral services told me later, that he had several people who were "livid" because God hadn't heard, or answered their prayer, that my son would live - that God would perform a miracle in him. I didn't know how to feel about that.
Then, this past Easter morning, our own Pastor talked about miracles. It made me cry and shake my head in agreement. I took notes, knowing I wanted to share it with you all on here. So, here you go!
First, he reminded us all that Christ died so that we could uncover wholeness! We are constantly searching for "quick fixes" for our problems, but they never work; they never last. He talked about the white-washed tomb, where Christ was laid to rest - such a perfect image of how we go about our lives. Looking good and clean from the outside for all to see, but inside - decay and death. Just as a dirty cup has to be cleaned from the inside out, so do our hearts! We are all broken. And in this life, where people are constantly praying for their colds to get better, we are missing the point. Life is not about feeling better or recieving healing - it is about something much deeper!
But, don't miss this point - God CAN heal, DID heal, and still DOES heal people today - both in the Bible and in the present. BUT, that's NOT THE POINT. The point of everything in life is to GET OUR ATTENTION.
And my son's DEATH got people's attention. It drew people back to Christ. It improved Godly relationships. It forced people to think about death and Heaven, and changed the way they see life - with a more eternal perspective.
So, if you're praying for someone to receive healing, maybe even a miracle, that's okay. But, just remember that God hears ALL prayers, and even answers ALL prayers - but sometimes His answer is "No." And there's an eternal and profound explaination for HIS WAYS.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts," Isaiah 55:9.
*Need a church?? LifeHouse Church East meets at Leitersburg Cinemas. Three services on Sunday Morning: 8:45am, 10am, and 11:15am. We'd love to have you!! :)
Recently, on separate occations, I had two of my friends come to me, asking for cleaning and organization tips. If you don't know me that well, I have a *touch* of OCD and firmly believe that "everything has a place." So, you either walk into my house astonished, or annoyed. Haha!
When I replied to her email, I really took my time racking my brain - How do you describe what you do naturally? But because I know my craziness may help someone else, I decided I should post my response on my blog. So, here you go:
First of all, I have the type of personality that I cannot go to bed without fluffing the pillows on the couch. For real. So, it kinda goes without saying that I make sure there are no dirty dishes in the sink or toys on the floor before I can really relax. This not only applies to when I head upstairs to bed, but even with both kids are napping - I can't really grab the laptop and relax until the house is tidy. It's a disease, I know, haha. In my head, it would be worse for me to walk downstairs, starting my day to an already messy house. That would cause stress and anxiety in me. So, it makes more sense for everything to be put away before starting over the next day. That way, instead of cleaning first thing, I can start the more important tasks like preparing breakfast, having a quiet time, etc.
That being said, I very rarely take a day to deep clean my house. It's absolutely more of a constant state of cleaning sort of thing. While I'm in the kitchen making breakfast, I wipe up the crumbs off the counter when I'm done. After I brush my teeth in the morning, I wipe down the sink. I keep
wipes in the downstairs bath and use them to dust the living room surfaces and wipe down the kitchen and dining room table. I do this all the time. Not just one day a week or one day a month. To me, it's an easy, FAST way to make the house pretty spotless when someone is on their way over. I don't get out lysol and a bucket, no way. Just grab a few wipes and go. This is obviously easy to do when the surfaces aren't cluttered to begin with...
As far as organization goes, I am a firm believer in "everything has a place." Even junk mail. I used to be so OCD that every toy had a place, but now that I've got two kids to clean up after, toys just have to go away, not necessarily in a certain spot. My greatest investment was the toy bin container we got at Target. It wasn't cheap, so I waited until it went on sale. Then, when Zoe came along and there were even more toys, that just required more baskets. But, I'm also someone who goes through the toys often and puts away stuff that Joel has outgrown, throw away stuff that's broken, etc.
This goes for clothes, too. The smaller the kid, the more often I am organizing clothes. There's a constant sorting: Good Will donation bag, outgrown clothes put in giant tupperware containers in the basement, new clothes moved into other drawers, etc. Basically, because our house isn't huge, I've got to maximize the space that we live in. So, even in the kitchen - if I don't use it often, it gets donated. This only-keeping-things-we-use-on-hand project has helped remove any clutter.
Joel absolutely helps me keep this house clean. I've kind of had a rule since he was a baby that we only get out one thing to play with at a time. So, the house only really looks destroyed, with all the toys out, when other friends come over and I don't instill this main rule. So, before he has to head
upstairs to a nap, everything must be off the floor. Before he can start a new puzzle, the first puzzle has to go away. If he's really into playing with something at night, and doesn't want to fully put it away, I just need/want it off the floor. So, like last night he had built some things with the Legos with Daddy. Instead of tearing them apart, we just sat them on the bench seat...
I also have a rule about only eating at the table, because I don't want to deal with crumbs on the couch. He's a pretty neat eater, but if he did make a mess, that would be something that I cleaned up as soon as he was done. Wipe up the table quickly with a wipe or the kitchen sponge, and if there's a mess on the floor - immediately grab the dust buster to get it up. In my head, if I would leave that, it would just create an even bigger mess at a later time. I'd rather stay "on top of it."
Laundry is the ONLY thing that I do in one day. Cause I hate it. So, instead of doing a load a day - which most of my friends do - I take one day a week and do four loads that day. I try to wash, dry, and put away this laundry in this one day. Cause I hate it, haha.
Because I like change, and because I love organization, I am constantly improving where things go. Making it make the most sense, making it easiest on everyone. I hope this helps!!